homophonic: rang lee

[camena]

Comments

[foxicide]

[




thinks]

'We have a plan that everyone is convinced is going to work, but I think we should adjust our expectations.'

How was that?

[camena]

The adjusting our expectations part is slightly less promising than the rest, but...

[foxicide]

[heh]

I've never been as optimistic as the others. Just the fact that we still can't share what it is means there's still an opportunity it'll... [he mimes an exploding noise] you know?

[camena]

I mean, I'm pretty much only trying to be optimistic for everyone else's sake at this point...

But, gotta try either way. So.

[foxicide]

[binch me too the fck]

How many times by now have people told you to hang in there? A dozen? A million?

[camena]

I lost count because I tell myself that five hundred times every day.

[foxicide]

[HELP]

Would it sound bad if I said that you should have been over on our side?

[YEAH....]

[camena]

Not really. I mean, it should have been me.

It's not like I really ever wanted to win this for myself.

[foxicide]

[at that, rang's expression turns curious]

Why not?

[camena]

I'm kind of cosmically screwed, anyway. And living's not that great, is it?

[foxicide]

[...Huh.]

I'd be lying if I said it was. But that's the kind of perspective I usually hear from other super old people... like Matsui.

How screwed is cosmically screwed?

[camena]

I'm... trying to get better about talking about this stuff, but it's kind of a lot, right?

But, uh. Ghosts. I told you about ghosts, right? Void rift, trapped outside of time, reliving their last moments eternally? And we let them out because we tuned in and that opened the gate, and uhh. The way I fixed that was closing the gate again. From inside it.

[ trapped outside of time, reliving her last moments eternally ]

[foxicide]

[NOOOOOOOOO IS THIS WHY SHE DIDN'T WANT TO STOP BEING SATAN

Rang looks surprised???. He'd expected to hear something terrible? And that definitely counts?]

I wouldn't want to win either, if I had to go back to that.

[a beat, then]

Not that I can talk, since I'm stuck in a dream coma back home.

[camena]

[ perhaps :)

anyway yay she's so glad there's something else they can be talking about. ]

A dream coma? What's—so, what, if you get home you don't even get to wake up?

[foxicide]

[:/ rang will remember these ghosts alex?]

Basically, yeah. I was made to relive my worst fears, and keep any injuries I got in the dream. So even if I do wake up, I'll probably die from my wounds.

It's not as dramatic as being sealed with thousands of ghosts for an eternity, but...

[camena]

It's not thousands, don't be dramatic. It's like ninety-something, there's not even a hundred.

[ not the point. ]

So—so you're hurt? In the dream?

[foxicide]

That's still a lot of ghosts?

[ninety-something ghosts are BAD?]

I could get healed if I wake up in time, but I don't think that's going to happen.

[camena]

It is still absolutely way too many ghosts, yeah.

Well... why not? Didn't they say, like, it would be pointless to send you back if you're just gonna die right away again.

[foxicide]

It's more like... I don't know how to wake up. I really spent all my time here without trying to figure that part out.

Granted, I was pretty sure I was dead for good when I disappeared.

[camena]

But you weren't dead for good, so there's always stuff you don't know.

[foxicide]

Life... or the afterlife? Would be a lot easier if we knew that stuff.

What about you, Alex? If you're sent back so you wouldn't die right away again. Would you still close that gate?

[camena]

Uh, I mean, I didn't die to do it, sooo.

[foxicide]

So you'd just go back to being trapped?

[he makes a face]

What the hell.

[camena]

[ shrugs! ]

So I think you and I are in kiiiind of similar situations? Vaguely. A little bit.

[foxicide]

This is my cue to say that it's a terrible thing to share with someone...

[...]

But it doesn't feel that bad.