homophonic: setsu

[camena]

Comments

[gnosia]

Have you ever considered traveling? Once you're done with school.

[ since to them, alex seems just the kind of person that likes to always be on the move. staying in one place must be a bit difficult. ]

[camena]

Yeah, I uh... I was thinking of going out of state for college at least. Maybe.

But after that, who knows.

[gnosia]

It's fine to not have everything planned out. ...Though, there's some fun, in being able to think of the options.

[camena]

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I've been kind of—homesick, so... I'm not sure if that's even still the plan. Or if it matters, or... What.

[gnosia]

I can't blame anyone for feeling homesick. I'm sure as more weeks go by...

[ the homesick will feel worse. quietly, they reach out to the waters, lightly tapping the surface. ] ...We'll get to go back, eventually.

[camena]

[ alex just watches them, and watches the water ripple out. ]

... I wonder what we go back to, exactly. Whatever we came from? Or—a better outcome?

[ if you're in a loop, does it matter? ]

[gnosia]

The Reapers had mentioned that going back would be like time never changed... so it's probably the first.

[ for those that actually died- would that mean they simply go back to their death? ...that doesn't mean much in their own situation. if they die, they just move on to the next loop. ]

[camena]

... Oof.

[ that is all she has to say about that, for some reason. she's probably just very sympathetic to setsu's deeply tragic situation. ]

[gnosia]

[ if she is, Setsu doesn't necessarily react. because it's fine? they aren't too bothered by their own fate. by now, they couldn't be.

they do have a bit of a concerned look as they glance over to Alex, though. ] Hopefully the situation isn't too terrible for you.

[camena]

[ alex is good at talking around stuff or avoiding subjects, but when it comes to telling direct lies she's kind of hopeless? so this comes out very stilted and clearly untrue. ]

It's... like... Fine?

[ and after a pause, less stilted: ]

I think it just is what it is.

[gnosia]

Fine...

[ clearly they don't believe what sounds to be untrue. which is why Setsu watches them patiently, listening when she speaks again after her pause before. ]

...You don't have to tell me. Don't feel like you're obligated to. But, I'm here if you want to. There's... so much I've seen, that I've done... it wouldn't be a problem for me.

[ to listen. to hear them out. but they can keep that respectable distance too. ]

[camena]

There's just, uh... Some stuff. That happened.

How much has Jonas told you?

[gnosia]

[ ... ]

He had mentioned, between the two of you, he didn't always notice your loops. That usually it was you. [ they pause for a bit. ] But that, eventually, he started to be able to tell.

[ their hand hovers over the water, watching the shadow of a fish swim by beneath the surface. ] They always happened on the same night, and you would do things to fix the breaks and stop the loops.

[camena]

[ she considers for a moment. she doesn't exactly want to talk about this, so she may be a little bit uncomfortable, but—it definitely helps that setsu is going through something similar.

and sometimes you want to do things even though they're hard, so... ]

Yeah, I... think I figured out why I'm the only one who remembers the loops clearly.

[ that's a little vague. ]

But it's fine. When this ends and we get out of here, he should be done with them. The night should be over.

[gnosia]

[there's... something a bit too familiar about it. a flicker of that last memory. a kind of feeling that reaches out and grabs a hold of them. it's probably why they can't help but ask]

And what about you?

[ he should be done with them... but what about her? ]

[camena]

[ ... hah... ]

It kind of sounds like it was already too late a really, really long time ago.

[ she is bad at this, so blurts out a second later: ]

But—there are other Alexes. Like your—like the parallel dimensions thing? And I can help them, I think, so it's not so bad.

[gnosia]

[ ...ah. so that's what it was. which makes them wonder what that means for jonas. what that can do for their world. will they forget her? just like... ]

No... it may not be so bad. Even so, you're putting a lot on yourself. [ ... ] But, I couldn't exactly judge you for your decision.

[ looking back at it all, it's.. a bit funny. their experiences, the time concept, the twisting of loops and universes-- they are different, yes, but in a way.. ]

The person I want to pay back my debt to... not too long ago, there was a time when two of them existed in the same universe. So.. I understand. To avoid the universe collapsing into itself, I had to help one. It's a decision I still stand by even now.

[camena]

I don't know. It's—I don't really even remember everything, so it's... Like, not so bad, maybe?

[ how bad can being stuck in an eternal recursion of your death really be if you don't even fully remember the previous iterations? ]

Well—you had to. Right? So... [ she doesn't fully understand, but she's sure that setsu must have made the best choice with that was available to them. she just assumes this very confidently. ]

[gnosia]

It's probably better that way but...

[ they don't want to speak for Alex on that regard. not remembering, it could be good. not that they themselves could really say for sure. after all, it's different for Setsu. who remembers every single loop. remembers every time they've been sent to cold sleep, they've been erased, had been the one to-- ]

I had to. [ and not once did they contemplate not doing it. ] And I'm happy to have done it, despite everything.

[ Alex would be right with that confident thought. it really was the best choice available. ]

..We sure have quite a predicament for ourselves. [ in hindsight, to anyone that didn't understand it as much as them, it must seem very messy. their loopy time universe shenanigans. ]

[camena]

Yours seems like there's a way out. Eventually.

[ she's not trying to make light of setsu's situation or compare which of their situations suck worse - but it's like optimism? like trying to cheer setsu up a little. she already considers her own situation not the worst it could be, as long as she can help other timelines. even before knowing that, as long as she could save jonas and her friends, it was good enough for her.

she also kind of just wants to redirect conversation back to setsu. ]

We just have to make sure you get out of here so you can keep working towards it.

[gnosia]

[ the optimism is, in a sense, certainly appreciated... that they can tell what alex is trying to do here. after all, setsu is in the same boat. that simply being able to help someone they care about back home... was good enough for them. they didn't need anything else.

however, they don't readily agree to alex's words. they only offer a simple smile. as if there's something missing to her words. but nothing else gets added to it, nothing to try and imply differently otherwise.

no, they just focus on the water again. ]

...Yeah. We'll all work towards getting us all back.

[camena]

[ this fills me with worry for my setsu, but unfortunately alex is a little bit self-absorbed and a lot distracted in this conversation, so she doesn't entirely pick up on... what that might mean. ]

Yeah, that plan's not changing.

[ ... ]

... Don't tell Jonas.

[gnosia]

[ hehe? it's fine? what do you mean? :) but Setsu brings a hand over their own chest with the following words. ]

I won't tell him.

[ after all, that is consequently something Jonas will need to hear from Alex. or even, come to see happen if it does in his time. Setsu doesn't believe they have the right to invade on something like that. ]

[camena]

[ fear :yell: ]

Thanks.

Uh, and for listening. Thanks for that part, too.

[gnosia]

You listened to me, it was only fair I repaid the favor.

[ but... ] ..I would've listened anyways. I want to be able to support you, we're a team after all.