homophonic: wolfwood

[camena]

Comments

[crucifer]

I don't know.

[ He can't keep the stress out of his voice now that he's talking about it. ]

I don't know -- I just can't let it happen. Knives winnin' means death of the entire planet. It means destruction of my orphanage. That can't happen. It means even if Knives isn't a problem anymore from Vash's point, that's not true for me.

[camena]

[ ... well, this is somewhat counter to what she'd been saying but she finds it a whole lot easier to be tough for someone else's sake. ]

Okay well for now? We're making it out of this. That's a thing everyone is working towards, however it happens. Even if I don't end up liking how it happens. [ team grudges... ]

So assuming we get out of here and you go back home, even if you're back with a Vash or Livio from your own timeline instead of theirs, why would things happen differently? If anything, you're just going into the situation with more information to work with.

[crucifer]

[ He's very defeated. He doesn't bother pointing this out because he thinks it's a better mental stance for Alex to take anyway. ]

It's... 'cause in that future, I might be walkin' back to my own death anyway.

[ If their timelines really are completely separate, then... he just doesn't know. Maybe things can be different knowing what he knows, but he can't say with certainty. ]

To be clear, it doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. I don't wanna die, and I can't give up for the kids either.

[ But it's just very harrowing. ]

[camena]

[ hmm. ]

Are you dead in their timelines? I mean, that you remember. Before coming here.

[crucifer]

Yeah.

I mean, I don't remember it, as much as nobody else here seems to, but they both said they saw me.

[ And the stupid pig thing. ]

[camena]

[ she is trying to problem solve but it's hard when you don't have any fucking control of your situation or the outcome! ]

So... You're kind of stuck hoping that having more info in advance will change things for you. Plus you don't know if the Vash and Livio in your world will have their memories from here, even when you 'catch up' to them.

I've heard some people float the idea of going home with other people? I guess we don't know for sure that something like that would be impossible.

[crucifer]

You got it, pretty much.

[ And he's trying not to be a pessimist, but with the information he does have, he's not entirely sure he can change that outcome. It is a situation that royally sucks. ]

...I can't leave the planet unless I know every kid and caretaker at the orphanage is safe.

[ He's kind of a horrible person who doesn't give a shit about a majority of the masses, but at the very least, he can't just abandon kids. Even if they don't recognise me, even if they don't know me. ]

[camena]

[ Infinite timelines, but every timeline matters. ]

And you're the only one that can make sure they're safe? Or—you know from the other two that you're going to keep the orphanage safe?

[crucifer]

...Vash is. 'Cause he's the only one who has a chance at stopping Knives.

[ I'm just human, in the end. ]

[camena]

And you have to break him out for that to happen.

[ and that's when...

hrm. ]

[crucifer]

Uh-huh.

[ I really sniper rifled maybe the worst canonpoint to pick from which was partially on purpose but also I did not think it would end up causing this much long-term drama for the Triguns. ]

[camena]

So you can't just jump with one of the others to their timeline to—skip past the problem. Because that screws over your own timeline pretty massively.

God.

[crucifer]

I don't know how these things work. Ruby talked about it like maybe she knows a bit more about how they work, but I don't, and even then it sounds like a whole lot of ifs and maybes.

[ World-dependent, Ruby's just also a teen, nothing is concrete. ]

Even if one version of the orphanage might be safe, I can't just pretend like it's fine if it secretly means another one got fucked up in the process. You know?

[camena]

No, yeah, I get it.

... Sorry. I wish I could come up with something. But—if that's what you want to protect, you're just going to make the same choice over and over again anyway.

[ Like I do. ]

[crucifer]

[ Guess we agree on that. There's no timeline ever that he would give up the orphanage just so that he could have a better chance at surviving.

He's a survivor, but some things are worth dying for. ]

It's fine. [ Kind of. Is he scared? Yeah. ] Given what I know, I think I wouldn't make a different decision.

[camena]

Of course you wouldn't. But you're gonna go into it knowing more, this time.

[ so. that's a bright spot. ]

[crucifer]

[ He really wonders if it'll be enough, knowing what kind of horseshit he's up against, but then again... he's pretty good about staying alive out of spite if nothing else. ]

...Yeah.

Thanks, sorry. It shouldn't be you tryin' to make me feel better about things. But whatever goes for me, goes for you too.

[camena]

Sure.

[ she thinks these circumstances are unfortunately too different for that to mean much for her situation... but she knows better than to really expect any comfort, and at least being distracted might have helped for a bit! ]

... Just don't worry about it.

[crucifer]

[ Hmm. ]

Not happening.

[ They may not be the closest, or at least Wolfwood won't assume anything, but Oxenfrees are his water bottles. If he could, he would help Alex, even against the impossible. ]

[camena]

... Well, we'll see.

We're... almost to the end of all of this, so.