homophonic: jonas

[camena]

Comments

[westedge]

Yeeah that sounds kind of terrible, actually. [ he can only guess what a couple of guys who agree to be called the redheaded bedwetters are actually like. ]

I'm still not sure how you handle him sometimes.

[camena]

It's—you met him on a rough night, okay? He's usually a lot more... easy-going about things. And usually him being a little irresponsible is funnier than it is annoying.

It's just, like, we've been together through thick and thin, you know?

[westedge]

We all had a rough night that night. [ it's not really an argument so much as pointing it out. but he can at least acknowledge what she's saying about it. ]

...but sure, I get it. Those kinds of friendships always mean more than people can probably actually explain, I guess.

[ he will simply still just have opinions. ]

[camena]

Yeah, and maybe not all of us were equipped to handle it that well. [ she does not even bother to say that kindly. she's still kind of annoyed about it, even if she also feels a little bad.

she remembers jonas saying there wasn't much to miss when she'd asked him if he missed his friends, but that had been a pretty quick answer. and like, now she's known him longer than twenty minutes. ]

... Just "you guess"?

[westedge]

[ he hears the tone and decides it's not worth hashing it out again. alex already knows his feelings on everything about that particular argument, so...whatever.

but. yeah. ]

Just "I guess." [ walking along...he can think of like sixteen ways to actually continue that and explain, or offer information, but he decides they all sound stupid so he does not. ] You don't think so?

[camena]

[ that doesn't really give her any of the kind of information she was after, but she's not going to pry into it. ]

... No, I think I agree. I'd never really thought about it very much. Never had to.

[ their friendship had only ever faced very minor hurdles until that night. ]

[westedge]

Yeah, I didn't think so. [ which probably sounds unkind even if it's not. it's just jonas going "yeah, you always had ren so why would you need to think of it?" luckily for alex, jonas is the type of person that if you wait long enough, he will probably explain on his own. ]

The kind of friends I had were...fine for hanging out. Like the type of people you go to parties with or smoke with or hang out on the weekend because there's nothing better to do, but it wasn't like...best friend type of stuff. I didn't really need that.

[ probably. ]

And after I got out not all of them wanted to talk to me again anyway so...no big loss.

[camena]

[ it's not like she doesn't have friends like that, too, so she gets it in theory... but she can't quite imagine not having a best friend on top of that.

... hm... ]

It is a big loss. It's just their loss. [ jonas is a good guy! ]

[westedge]

[ he's sorely tempted to roll his eyes, but he does not. mostly because he knows what she's saying and why. ]

You don't have to try to convince me, you know. I'm not...upset about it or anything.

[ sometimes your entire life just slowly crumbles around you that you look at your shambles of a support system and don't even care anymore, actually. ]

[camena]

I'm not. I know.

[ okay, obviously she is, but—only because she means it? ]

I'm just saying.

[westedge]

[ normally he doesn't challenge her on stuff like this, but admittedly he's curious. ]

What are you just saying?

[camena]

[ honestly... saying this is easier now than it was the first time. it's less tense. they're not fresh out of an argument with her best friend or on a short timer for being possessed. ]

I told you before—you're a good guy. So it like... sucks for them to miss out on that.

And I could tell that when we'd just met, so think how confident I get to be about it now. [ after two weeks hanging out instead of one night. ]

[westedge]

[ it's kind of hard to be annoyed about it. he's not entirely sure how to feel, but he's not annoyed like he thought he might be. he hesitates on his words again, like he wants to address part of it but maybe it's not all that important to address. are they there? are they back on that level of having these kinds of conversations? it's been about two weeks. ]

Wow. A whole two weeks later. Look at you go.

[camena]

[ they are constantly having these kinds of conversations - she just maybe is not always as delicate as she could be about some things. which means she should not get huffy when she gets push back... and yet. ]

Why're you saying it like that? Two weeks is a long time.

[westedge]

What? No that's not what I--yes, two weeks is probably a long time for us considering some stuff. [ it also is taking stuff jonas has zero clue about into consideration, but it's fine. ]

...to be fair to us, the night on the island felt a lot longer than just those hours.

[camena]

[ considering some stuff. well, she's more fixated on the stuff he does not know, yes. ]

Yeah it did. And you did say you were having some intense deja vu about the whole night, so.

[ that probably made it feel longer. ]

[westedge]

...[ maybe not as intense as alex thinks, but yeah. he did in fact say that. ]

Haru said something interesting to me a little while ago. About how time isn't really a good measure of how much a person...[ pause. thinking. ] Can affect you.

[camena]

Sure. I agree with that.

[ ... ]

If you click, you click. It's not like me and Ren weren't 'best friends' until a long enough time went by. We just were. Right away.

[westedge]

I think it's also probably easier to make best friends when you're that young and stuff doesn't matter as much. But if you click, you click. [ a shrug. ] No sense in questioning it or anything either. It's one of those things you can just notice without wondering too much about it.

[camena]

... You think it gets harder the older you get?

[westedge]

Of course I do. [ factually. ] People have more history and everything when they're older that you have to try to work with.

[camena]

Guess that makes sense. And you're not stuck with, like... Every possible kid your age in the city for school every day anymore.

[westedge]

Right. When you're a kid it's like...practically built-in friendships in preschool and stuff. Your mom drops you off at a table full of fingerpaints, you try to go and grab the jar of red at the same time as somebody, and suddenly you're best friends because you both like red. No thought, no deeper meaning, just simple stuff.

And when you get older and you have more opinions, maybe you like red but you like blue much better, so you can't just bond over something simple. You have to dig a little deeper, but it's not, like, a guarantee you'll like what you find there.

[camena]

... Sure, yeah. When you grow up with people you kind of... grow around each other like vines, I guess? You adapt to each other already being there, so it's harder to get wedged apart.

[ but because she is a little bit allergic to having serious conversations without some kind of stupid aside: ]

But for the record, my favorite color is blue. And Ren likes purple.

[westedge]

[ pff. he's not that interested in dragging the mood down further with his own cynical (and lonely) ideology, so he lets her chance the subject a little. ]

Well we all have our flaws, I guess. [ it's easier to joke about stupid things, too. ]