...Maybe. Though, our team wouldn't be what we are now.
[ they try to make light of it, but their hands are trembling just slightly from where they're holding a sword on their lap. just idly looking at it now with a furrow of their brows. ]
We were... in a different world. Not one I recognized. It started in a cave and... it felt like I was there for a really long time. [ but they don't elaborate on that lol. ] When I did meet up with the others, I did learn that Nahida and Kaveh both recognized the world given the fact it was theirs. Just, a different city.
[ alex might have said something like 'that's true' about their team, because she loves their team as they are. or, like, ask about the sword.
but. in a cave for a long time. really makes her lose focus for a moment. but then. okay. okay, nahida and kaveh's world. she doesn't know too much about it. ]
... But even with two people who knew their own world...
[ you still all got fucked up!! is this just what their world is always like?! help ]
[ for a moment, Setsu says nothing else, but when it's that that Alex decides to bring up- they respond a bit easily. admittedly, they weren't sure what to say if Alex had asked about the cave. ]
They didn't seem familiar with what was going on... not to mention we were a bit.. preoccupied with saving the others. [ the others... ] Shu, Shenhe and... Jonas were there too. Before we ended up facing some large.. monstrosity.
[ which is where things get kinda bad cause, they look notably distraught, hands trembling a bit before they grip them a bit firmer. like they're trying to stop themselves from showing that fear ]
One by one, we watched them die. [ which, Setsu is accustomed to. they're used to seeing death. but really it's because ] I saw.. Jonas die. If not for me, I don't think he would have. I got distracted and... [ a hand comes to touch the bandage over their now gone right eye. it's guilt. the guilt that because of their own mistake, he had paid the price. if they weren't distracted, then just maybe he wouldn't have died. (cyoa runners be like nah) ]
[ yeah listen, she is truly just setting aside the cave for now. like if she ignores it, it doesn't have to mean anything or be anything. it's fine. she is visibly confused by that list of names though, because she doesn't know about shu, but she's positive jonas and shenhe were both still around today.
... but she knows stories like this. she knows watching her friends die and she knows watching her friends struggle to explain watching her other friends die. so she's able to say, both firmly but gently: ]
It's not your fault. It wasn't even—he's fine. I don't think all of it was real.
I know. [ they quietly say, but that fear has a vice grip on them. you are very alone. their hands slacked on the sword. nobody is here. there's... still nobody here, this world is empty. it still haunts them even now. even though someone like them has lived through hundreds of loops, seen their friends die.. live, and die again.
they give Alex an uneasy look, before quickly looking away- as if seeing a ghost. trying to ignore that brief image of her covered in blood. they could push through this normally, they can be stronger than this. so why? why was it different? ]
It felt... very real. Now and then, I can still see.. [ ... ] It doesn't feel like it's left me yet.
[ but, they can do something to try and ease themselves back into some normalcy. ] If it was just the four of us, why us specifically? Kaveh and Nahida, I understand are in the same team, but then there was Matsui and I. And.. today of all days?
[ WITH ERASURE NIGHT HOUR ON THE HORIZON? it just piles onto the anxiety. ]
[ if only it was just for a long time, but they know it's something they won't ever forget. not with someone that remembers every loop they've gone through. ]
We still have the next few days to prepare so. It'll have to wait until the following week.
[ which doesn't sit good in the moment but. they're too exhausted to do much else. ]
[ she frowns... memories can sometimes go a bit blurry at some parts and stay way too vivid at others, but—she believes setsu that they remember. that they will remember. ]
... Yeah. Yeah, for now you should just rest up. Don't worry about anything else.
[ that is a bit easier than done, but... for a moment, they consider if they had watched jonas, alex or kazuki come back from something like this. of course- what happened is still playing with their mind in thinking jonas really was there. but the anxiety of finding any of their team as badly as they were... ]
I'll try. There's.. something I want to show you and the rest of the team, but I'll wait until we can regroup.
[ which they thought would obviously be tonight but then cola abandoned us.... and missed the drama.... ]
I think... I'm a bit too wired up to relax. [ their nerves feel like they're on fire, and they can barely manage the tremble in their hands. ] It just keeps replaying in my head.
..I'm sorry I didn't recognize you or Kazuki right away. [ they do sound a bit bad about that. especially after kazuki's own reaction to that in front of god and everyone at the cyoa return help me. ] For some reason, my mind was... reverted back to when I was a child. All I could remember were the people I saw back in that other world.
[ baby mind ] Everything else was too much of a blur at the time.
I... guess so. [ sighs... ] Kazuki seemed to be really hurt by it, thinking back on it, is all. So I figured I would try to explain the situation a bit more.
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...Maybe. Though, our team wouldn't be what we are now.
[ they try to make light of it, but their hands are trembling just slightly from where they're holding a sword on their lap. just idly looking at it now with a furrow of their brows. ]
We were... in a different world. Not one I recognized. It started in a cave and... it felt like I was there for a really long time. [ but they don't elaborate on that lol. ] When I did meet up with the others, I did learn that Nahida and Kaveh both recognized the world given the fact it was theirs. Just, a different city.
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but. in a cave for a long time. really makes her lose focus for a moment. but then. okay. okay, nahida and kaveh's world. she doesn't know too much about it. ]
... But even with two people who knew their own world...
[ you still all got fucked up!! is this just what their world is always like?! help ]
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They didn't seem familiar with what was going on... not to mention we were a bit.. preoccupied with saving the others. [ the others... ] Shu, Shenhe and... Jonas were there too. Before we ended up facing some large.. monstrosity.
[ which is where things get kinda bad cause, they look notably distraught, hands trembling a bit before they grip them a bit firmer. like they're trying to stop themselves from showing that fear ]
One by one, we watched them die. [ which, Setsu is accustomed to. they're used to seeing death. but really it's because ] I saw.. Jonas die. If not for me, I don't think he would have. I got distracted and... [ a hand comes to touch the bandage over their now gone right eye. it's guilt. the guilt that because of their own mistake, he had paid the price. if they weren't distracted, then just maybe he wouldn't have died. (cyoa runners be like nah) ]
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... but she knows stories like this. she knows watching her friends die and she knows watching her friends struggle to explain watching her other friends die. so she's able to say, both firmly but gently: ]
It's not your fault. It wasn't even—he's fine. I don't think all of it was real.
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they give Alex an uneasy look, before quickly looking away- as if seeing a ghost. trying to ignore that brief image of her covered in blood. they could push through this normally, they can be stronger than this. so why? why was it different? ]
It felt... very real. Now and then, I can still see.. [ ... ] It doesn't feel like it's left me yet.
[ but, they can do something to try and ease themselves back into some normalcy. ] If it was just the four of us, why us specifically? Kaveh and Nahida, I understand are in the same team, but then there was Matsui and I. And.. today of all days?
[ WITH ERASURE NIGHT HOUR ON THE HORIZON? it just piles onto the anxiety. ]
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[ ... ]
I don't know. We'll ask the Reapers about it as soon as we can.
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[ if only it was just for a long time, but they know it's something they won't ever forget. not with someone that remembers every loop they've gone through. ]
We still have the next few days to prepare so. It'll have to wait until the following week.
[ which doesn't sit good in the moment but. they're too exhausted to do much else. ]
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... Yeah. Yeah, for now you should just rest up. Don't worry about anything else.
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I'll try. There's.. something I want to show you and the rest of the team, but I'll wait until we can regroup.
[ which they thought would obviously be tonight but then cola abandoned us.... and missed the drama.... ]
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Yeah. Just—we'll worry about whatever it is later. For now the important thing is probably just that you focus on relaxing.
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I think... I'm a bit too wired up to relax. [ their nerves feel like they're on fire, and they can barely manage the tremble in their hands. ] It just keeps replaying in my head.
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[ they rub at their temple a little. ] ..Have you spoken with the others yet?
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[ teammates... ]
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..I'm sorry I didn't recognize you or Kazuki right away. [ they do sound a bit bad about that. especially after kazuki's own reaction to that in front of god and everyone at the cyoa return help me. ] For some reason, my mind was... reverted back to when I was a child. All I could remember were the people I saw back in that other world.
[ baby mind ] Everything else was too much of a blur at the time.
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